Note: This is an old review, the third comic book one I've done (I'll post the other two at a later date). I'm going to do a brand new special project with this that I'll announce soon after a couple of other reviews go up. In the meantime, enjoy my first look at a Hanna-Barbara Beyond comic...Oh God...
In early 2016, DC announced that they were going to expand their line to include comic books based on classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon properties: Scooby-Doo, The Flintstones, and Wacky Races would get their own books, and more action oriented cartoons such as Johnny Quest and Space Ghost would get a team up book.
And the reaction was... oh, God.
The Scooby book, Scooby Apocalypse, presented a modern take on the gang...in a world where humanity is turned to monsters thanks to a virus made by Velma and her brothers under the idea of “BE NICE, DAMN IT” only for the brothers to make it “OBEY US, DAMN IT” and still screw it up.
The Wacky Racers book, Wacky Raceland, had the story be about sentient cars and their drivers in a post-apocalyptic (Unrelated to the Scooby book, last I read anyway) wasteland, driving around thanks to a mysterious announcer, and gave us a not-so-evil Dick Dastardly and turned an established character into a transexual because “DC IS DIVERSE, DAMN IT!”
Yeah, to cover my basses on that, I'd have no problems if it was a new character thrown in or if there was a in-story reason for this...but the issue I read didn't have ether, so...yeah, transexual for shock value.
Yeah, I read only one or two issues of those series (The team up book was ok) and didn't pick up another one with good reason. So you can guess why I didn't pick up anything after The Flintstones #1.
And you can probably guess why everybody's reaction to the comics went to “OH, JESUS, MY CHILDHOOD!”
DC doesn't have a problem doing kids' stories, they currently have a couple of Scooby-Doo all ages books, one of which is a team up with all ages versions of their heroes, and have for a long time (I don't know if, as of this writing, they still do) published a long running Loony Tunes comic book. DC decided these new HANNA-BARBARA books will NOT be for kids.
No, they decided it would be for the grown ups, a combination of their current main audience and those that grew up watching the shows...by saying one of the Mystery Inc. members tried to force people to think happy thoughts in one of the books and shouting “Look what we did to this character and his/her car” in another, HELLO!?
To be fair and to see where the series went after the first issue in case there's any lasting impacts, I'm also going to look up the TV Tropes for this thing so I don't have to read another issue of this...uh...thing. You'll see why in a minute.
So we open in the modern day...
And the book lost half of the original's fanbase, didn't it?
Yeah...you know the book's gonna try too hard when it opens with the modern day right before jumping into the modern stone age.
...where two people are talking about a frozen cave man, wearing a head piece made out of an animal and stones around his neck, wondering what life was like in the modern stone age, which cues the jump to a two page spread of Bedrock.
Ah, yes, the full town of Bedrock, home to such things like Slates Quarry, the local bowling ally known as Crane's Lanes, the near by Tarpit superstore, the Spears & Robuck behind it and the Bird Slavery Empor---uh...oooh... ooooh... oh boy... yeah...if I said Dino's viewed as an “Uncle Tom,” can I move on while shirt tugging? Please?
Ok...uh... and behind it is the Homo Erectus bar...
*THUD*
OW! OW! UNSUBTLE THUD HURT ME! OW!
Anyway, we then go to Slate's where we see Fred go into the boss's office and he's introduced to the company's newest employees, three neanderthals. Not that Slate cares, as he keeps calling them Cro-Mangons because “COMENTARY!” Fred gets tasked to showing them around town while he talks to Wilma, who's putting hand prints to paper and calling it art, and Wilma reminds him that both Fred & Barney have their veterans support group later.
Yeah...to skip ahead, this comic has commentary on war, specifically, depending on how it's written, Vietnam or the war on terror. In fact, Yabba-Dabba-Do isn't Fred's go to for “HELL YEAH,” it's what he used to tell his men to calm down and go kill some tree people.
Because THAT'S what you want to go with PTSD!
Well, turns out Fred forgot about that part and thus has no choice but to, along with Barney, take the Neanderthals with them...as they see a guy shout something along the lines of “YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!” But hey, who needs to deal with that, WE GOT STONE AGE UFC TO WATCH!
I am not even kidding, right from one of Fred's former troop members having a freak out, we jump to a violent UFC style fight, which the Neanderthals freak out at the violence... which result in the crowd cheering the near death beating and pterodactyls picking at the knocked out guy as the fighter thanks Morp, their version of God.
After seeing them at a restaurant and a bit of Fred and Wilma at home, complete with a gag where Fred asks why they agreed to a traditional wedding where he traded 3 goats for her hand...
And if you knew where the comic would be going with that very subject, you will be hitting the wall a few times. Speaking of which...
*WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM*
...we finally see everybody at work...and the Neanderthals wondering what to do with money. In this day and age, my generation calls it “50 years of Student Loan payments to go.” Fred then gets a call from Wilma, saying her work was approved and he's happy for her as she goes shopping.
I'll say this for the comic, they got Fred and Wilma being a loving couple supporting each other right.
After the shopping, we jump to a party at Slate's that both Flintstones were invited to. Slate tries to be the life of the party, even daring one of the Neanderthals to kill a nearby mammoth. Well, that didn't go well and said Neanderthal winds up in the middle of an avalanche. And if you said “Wait, isn't there a frozen---” Yep, the same one from the beginning. Oh, it gets stupider, but that's for later.
After that mess, the Neanderthals conclude that civilization is not for them on the grounds that the point to them is “Get someone else to do your killing for you.”
*WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM*
Yeah, gonna do one-two-skip-a-few here: It's later revealed in the comic that the war Fred and the others fought against the “Tree People” wasn't a real war, they were lied to because their leaders wanted to turn the land into what became Bedrock. Subtle as a brick, ain't it? Excuse me.
*WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM**WHAM*
We then jump to the art gallery, where Wilma sees her art is...by the toilets. Turns out the critics didn't think much of her hand prints...and nether does Fred until Wilma reveals this is all because when she was younger, those that survived long journies in her tribe left hand prints on the wall and when it was her turn, it made her the happiest little girl in the tribe. This causes Fred to remark he never really knew her until this moment.
Guess you don't get much info for 3 goats, huh?
The issue, mercifully, ends when it jumps back to the modern day and, uh-oh, it looks like that neclace causes the frozen Neanderthal to be mistaken for Mr. Slate!
Hahahahahahahaha...wait until the issues talk about marriage traditions, right wing news, AND more war allegories, that's when it REALLY gets hilarious.
And that sarcastic response is for the spoilers I read so I can do an accurate review, but can you guys see why, just from this issue alone, I won't pick up issue 2 or beyond anytime soon unless I wanna review them?
Pretty art can only do so much for a bad story, and while the art is pretty, the story is bad. I have no problems with more adult takes on the modern stone age family, one of my favorite episodes of Harvey Birdman has Fred on trail for being a mob boss, but this? This is as unsubtle and insulting as you can get. The jokes suck, and considering the back bone of the original is rock puns that should be a red flag, later spoilers link Yaba Daba Doo to PTSD, because I'm sure that's what real life suffers want to see, and the commentary is painfully obvious be it going to a violent UFC match after a war flashback or the quote one of the Neanderthals said before they left.
And from what I read in the spoilers, it just gets worse and worse, including saying the sentient animals they own are slaves and Dino's their “Uncle Tom,” the very first news broadcast is a right wing story about how monogamy is wrong because “Back in our day, it wasn't done like that,” and like I said, Yabba Dabba Doo is linked to PTSD, something I really don't think real life sufferers would enjoy.
The thing about The Flintstones is that it's supposed to be a knock off of The Honeymooners, only the tone is more family friendly than even the original show. It has stuff like an ep where Fred finds gold, brain switching, learning self defense, and so on. The closest to adult topics it came to vs. the comic is saying the Rubbles had to adopt without saying why, and an ep where Barney tricks Fred into thinking he's a counterfeiter.
How we go from that to a comic about a boss not caring calling Neanderthals the C-Word, I yabba-dabba-don't know.
Blame the comic and the spoilers for me making a pun that stupid, I've punished myself enough.
FINAL VERDICT: For going too far in the adult direction, for humor and storytelling that barley represents the show, but for pretty art, and touching moments with Fred and Wilma, this movie gets a MST3K B-MOVIE BOMB! I'll admit, the art's good and the touching moments with Fred and Wilma are just as good as the show's...but the story still takes the adult stuff a bit too far, and the spoilers to what happens after here just make this issue worse. Now if you'll excuse me, I wanna jump on this band wagon since there's an audience...I know... so I'm gonna look at what I can do with the PBS Kids line up. Ok, let's give the purple dino some fangs!
Monday, March 26, 2018
Sunday, March 25, 2018
B-Movie Bomb: Aaliyah: The Princess of R&B (Old Post, spoilers)
Note: I know I just posted that I don't know how frequent I'm going to do the old stuff, but I just realized I had time to migrate a review, so this is the first one I did when the site became Channel Awesome. This is to let you guys know what kind of reviews to expect from me in the future, both old ones and brand spanking new ones. Enjoy and comment!
The impossible has been achieved.
Yeah, I couldn't believe it ether, but it appears the internet is united!
That's right, and it's one movie that did it. One movie caused everybody on twitter to form the same opinion, to have the same concussions, to have the same thoughts.
It's not just those I follow ether. I clicked on the hashtag they used too, and those who use it have the same opinion...
AALIYAH: THE PRINCESS OF R&B IS A DISRECPECTFUL POS THAT WENDY WILLIAMS SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF PRODUCING!
Not that we should be shocked at this, after all, it's Lifetime that gave us this... interesting... biopic. And by interesting I mean A PEICE OF CRAP THAT'S FULL OF BU---
Sorry, sorry, I know I just ripped off Sage, but I have a good reason for this!
For those not in the know, Aaliyah was a R&B artist that had a sound that wasn't heard of and, after coming into her own fame at the end of the 90's, was well on her way to be among those like Whitney Houston, Lauren Hill, and other artists that shaped R&B/hip-hop of the time. Unfortunately, after a music video shoot in 2001, her plane crashed killing her and 8 others on board, but she left behind a legacy of fantastic music and stared in a couple of films, Romeo Must Die and Queen Of the Damned.
The fact that most, if not all, of a polarizing place like Twitter is united in calling this movie worse than pond scum is fantastic. Even Liz & Dick, The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story, and Pedals on the Wind (The last Lifetime movie I reviewed) had people going back and forth on them for one reason or another.
But this? You couldn't get the torches and the pitchforks out fast enough! The only one I saw trying to get positive tweets out there was the producer, Wendy Williams, and even then she ether screwed up the title of one of the songs or BS'd it because the family refused to give Lifetime the rights to the music their daughter wrote.
Would ether one REALLY surprise anybody?
So the movie opens with lil' Aalyiah performing on Star Search, a talent show from the 80's to the 90's, with her family saying she's gonna go places and all she needs is her name. She loses, but that's ok! Her uncle, an agent named Barry (Lyriq Bent) who got her to perform with her aunt, Gladys Knight (Elise Neal) and set up and deal for her to perform with the legend in her act in Vegas.
Holy crap! Gladys Knight! This is once in a lifetime (Pun not intended)! We could see her hit it out of the park! We can see her help the would be singer on stage! We could---
Skip to a few days later! We need to get to the R. Kelly part ASAP, no need to see something that many would consider once in a lifetime (Pun not intended) or a fantastic moment of torch passing, we need to see her hit school talent shows singing cover songs! Yeah, that's what put her on the map! Cover songs!
Yeah... if you're expecting the music she herself made... no. Turns out when the family got word about this, they saw the writing on the wall and fought to keep her music out of this thing. Not that I don't blame 'em, I wouldn't want the good stuff near this.
Sure enough, a few years later, the uncle talks to R. Kelly (Cle Ben---CLE BENNETT!? Total Drama Island's Chef!?) and convinces him to produce for Aaliyah (Alexandra Shipp) after being asshole about it, figuratively kicking and screaming on the way to do it.
R. Kelly being an egotistical ass... don't be shocked if that's the only accurate thing from this movie.
But the minute he hears that voice her's, he stops being an ass---BWA-HAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok... ok... I can't say “R. Kelly's heart grew 3 sizes” without laughing. He actually decides, after hearing a cover of “Save the best for last...”
Because, again, legal says no Aaliyah songs in a movie about Aaliyah.
...that this was worth his time and agrees to produce for her. And what do we see from this collaboration? Just her getting advice sometime down the line on how to do recordings. We don't see any actual recordings, just advice and then pizza.
We're 17 minutes into a two hour movie. You don't need to outpace Inuyasha: The Final Act, breathe.
After seeing the two get to know each other over pizza, we see her rise to the top via muzak because the movie had no rights to the actual music, and that some people in the industry are wondering why the 15 year old hasn't hooked up with the 30 some year old. Sure enough, after that, we jump to the two trying to hide their relationship but tired of doing so, so they do the wise thing and get married!
I don't know what's more astounding, that this thing claims people wanna see pedophilia, or there was somebody out there ready to sign a marriage license for a 15 year old to marry a 30 year old... and I don't wanna know.
And, as an only sign of decency in this movie, the parents are against this and threaten to hurt R. Kelly if he comes near Aaliyah again. And yes, I think I heard the entire nation waiting for that moment.
Of course she's mad at them until the dad talks to her over Gumbo...
Because Gumbo cures all wounds.
...and she decides it was time to break into Hollywood! They try to get her an agent, but the guy they get tells her that there's very little chances of a black woman getting a lead role in Hollywood. They, and the audience, bring up Whitney Houston to which he replies they were looking for somebody like her in The Bodyguard anyway.
Yes, this movie just said Whitney Houston's movie career was the end result of a fluke. Actual acting discipline? Willing to learn what weaknesses she has to overcome them and become a better actress as time went by? Pheh! That didn't happen, it was all a fluke!
I'd say more on how insulting that was, but Lifetime as of this writing announced they're gonna do a movie based on Houston's life, so I'll wait until that hole digs deeper.
So while that's going on, and she still pines over R. Kelly...
Yeah, according to the movie, she takes YEARS to get over the guy. Pheh, why do we wanna show somebody with independence and spirit that actually had independence and spirit?
I don't know if that's what happened, but it's Lifetime, can you blame me for doubting it?
...she talks about having Timbaland and Missy Elliot produce her newest album, to which the head of the company replies “Who?”
Ok, so yeah, Timbaland didn't exactly get any mainstream hits producing prior to Aaliyah, so I'll let that slide. But Missy? HA! She just did production work on a song to some dumb soundtrack to some dumb movie called Dangerous Minds three years prior, like anybody will remember both the classic movie and the classic soundtrack with some single about Paradise Gangs or something.
And no, that song isn't what she worked on, but still, points for Lifetime to insult somebody BEFORE they died for a change!
She then says she heard their sound and loves it, and then goes to meet the two, played respectively by Izaak Smith and Chattrisse Dolabaille. And in case you're wondering, no they look NOTHING like Missy and Timbaland, no matter how half-blind or drunk you get. Hell, Dolabaille looks like those hip-hop girls Missy was going against when trying to encourage her fans to go for their dreams even if they don't look like a supermodel.
Again, points for insulting somebody BEFORE they died.
She puts out the album, does some spiel about not being over Kelly, then meets another rapper that I don't know. Not because they mumble his name only once or twice, not because it's also my fault for not listening to the guy's stuff, but because, like with everybody else, he looks nothing like the guy he's supposed to play.
Yeah, if you expected effort from this network, these are the same people that said “You know, that girl from those Disney movies looks like Elizabeth Taylor AND has a good accent.”
There's one scene where Aaliyah does sing a song she's known for... which is because it's the only song she's never written, the one she sung on the Anastasia soundtrack. Yeah, one of the few that's not brought up with her current library that's composed of songs like “Are you that somebody,” a song that still holds up because it's her style, where as this movie uses muzak most of the time due to rights issues.
In other words, the one song that she did they could do is because all she had a hand in it on was singing. Nice respect there.
Let's just wrap this up because there's really nothing else: Aliyah finds happiness with that one rapper I can't remember, is in line to star in a Matrix movie, and is leaving to shoot a music video on what would be her final trip. The movie ends with a text saying that her plane crashed during take off and that her music and legacy will endure.
Which is the only honest thing this movie has said and more than I can say for this pile.
The family didn't want this but they did it anyway, Wendy Williams said so, and I'm with the family on this. This isn't respectful to the artist or those around her, be it the lousy muzak, miscasting, saying she takes forever to get over somebody she shouldn't have been married to, or reducing two of her producers to one scene wonders just to focus mainly on said marriage.
And there's nothing here for the camp crowd ether. At least with Liz & Dick, the constant in-fighting between the two was real and had over the top acting in the movie, so there was some fun to be had and you had a sense that they were trying to tell a story only to completely fail. This doesn't have that distinction, it feels like a cash in on a legacy and with the disrespect to match. There's a reason it seems like the entire internet was united against this thing, and I don't blame everybody for hating it one bit.
And yes, I'm gonna review the Whitney Houston movie on the grounds that its Lifetime doing a Whitney Houston docudrama, do I need to elaborate beyond that?
FINAL VIRDICT: For no respect ether in the movie OR behind the scenes (Seriously, Wendy Williams response to the family not wanting this was 'We're doing it anyway'), hokey acting, miscasting, and just feeling like a horrible cash in on a legacy, this movie gets a SUPER ATOMIC B-MOVIE BOMB. Only positive thing about this whole thing is the movie united the internet against it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna prepare myself for the next Lifetime movie...
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
No... I can still feel... this might take a bit... oog...
Yeah, I couldn't believe it ether, but it appears the internet is united!
That's right, and it's one movie that did it. One movie caused everybody on twitter to form the same opinion, to have the same concussions, to have the same thoughts.
It's not just those I follow ether. I clicked on the hashtag they used too, and those who use it have the same opinion...
AALIYAH: THE PRINCESS OF R&B IS A DISRECPECTFUL POS THAT WENDY WILLIAMS SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF PRODUCING!
Not that we should be shocked at this, after all, it's Lifetime that gave us this... interesting... biopic. And by interesting I mean A PEICE OF CRAP THAT'S FULL OF BU---
Sorry, sorry, I know I just ripped off Sage, but I have a good reason for this!
For those not in the know, Aaliyah was a R&B artist that had a sound that wasn't heard of and, after coming into her own fame at the end of the 90's, was well on her way to be among those like Whitney Houston, Lauren Hill, and other artists that shaped R&B/hip-hop of the time. Unfortunately, after a music video shoot in 2001, her plane crashed killing her and 8 others on board, but she left behind a legacy of fantastic music and stared in a couple of films, Romeo Must Die and Queen Of the Damned.
The fact that most, if not all, of a polarizing place like Twitter is united in calling this movie worse than pond scum is fantastic. Even Liz & Dick, The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story, and Pedals on the Wind (The last Lifetime movie I reviewed) had people going back and forth on them for one reason or another.
But this? You couldn't get the torches and the pitchforks out fast enough! The only one I saw trying to get positive tweets out there was the producer, Wendy Williams, and even then she ether screwed up the title of one of the songs or BS'd it because the family refused to give Lifetime the rights to the music their daughter wrote.
Would ether one REALLY surprise anybody?
So the movie opens with lil' Aalyiah performing on Star Search, a talent show from the 80's to the 90's, with her family saying she's gonna go places and all she needs is her name. She loses, but that's ok! Her uncle, an agent named Barry (Lyriq Bent) who got her to perform with her aunt, Gladys Knight (Elise Neal) and set up and deal for her to perform with the legend in her act in Vegas.
Holy crap! Gladys Knight! This is once in a lifetime (Pun not intended)! We could see her hit it out of the park! We can see her help the would be singer on stage! We could---
Skip to a few days later! We need to get to the R. Kelly part ASAP, no need to see something that many would consider once in a lifetime (Pun not intended) or a fantastic moment of torch passing, we need to see her hit school talent shows singing cover songs! Yeah, that's what put her on the map! Cover songs!
Yeah... if you're expecting the music she herself made... no. Turns out when the family got word about this, they saw the writing on the wall and fought to keep her music out of this thing. Not that I don't blame 'em, I wouldn't want the good stuff near this.
Sure enough, a few years later, the uncle talks to R. Kelly (Cle Ben---CLE BENNETT!? Total Drama Island's Chef!?) and convinces him to produce for Aaliyah (Alexandra Shipp) after being asshole about it, figuratively kicking and screaming on the way to do it.
R. Kelly being an egotistical ass... don't be shocked if that's the only accurate thing from this movie.
But the minute he hears that voice her's, he stops being an ass---BWA-HAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok... ok... I can't say “R. Kelly's heart grew 3 sizes” without laughing. He actually decides, after hearing a cover of “Save the best for last...”
Because, again, legal says no Aaliyah songs in a movie about Aaliyah.
...that this was worth his time and agrees to produce for her. And what do we see from this collaboration? Just her getting advice sometime down the line on how to do recordings. We don't see any actual recordings, just advice and then pizza.
We're 17 minutes into a two hour movie. You don't need to outpace Inuyasha: The Final Act, breathe.
After seeing the two get to know each other over pizza, we see her rise to the top via muzak because the movie had no rights to the actual music, and that some people in the industry are wondering why the 15 year old hasn't hooked up with the 30 some year old. Sure enough, after that, we jump to the two trying to hide their relationship but tired of doing so, so they do the wise thing and get married!
I don't know what's more astounding, that this thing claims people wanna see pedophilia, or there was somebody out there ready to sign a marriage license for a 15 year old to marry a 30 year old... and I don't wanna know.
And, as an only sign of decency in this movie, the parents are against this and threaten to hurt R. Kelly if he comes near Aaliyah again. And yes, I think I heard the entire nation waiting for that moment.
Of course she's mad at them until the dad talks to her over Gumbo...
Because Gumbo cures all wounds.
...and she decides it was time to break into Hollywood! They try to get her an agent, but the guy they get tells her that there's very little chances of a black woman getting a lead role in Hollywood. They, and the audience, bring up Whitney Houston to which he replies they were looking for somebody like her in The Bodyguard anyway.
Yes, this movie just said Whitney Houston's movie career was the end result of a fluke. Actual acting discipline? Willing to learn what weaknesses she has to overcome them and become a better actress as time went by? Pheh! That didn't happen, it was all a fluke!
I'd say more on how insulting that was, but Lifetime as of this writing announced they're gonna do a movie based on Houston's life, so I'll wait until that hole digs deeper.
So while that's going on, and she still pines over R. Kelly...
Yeah, according to the movie, she takes YEARS to get over the guy. Pheh, why do we wanna show somebody with independence and spirit that actually had independence and spirit?
I don't know if that's what happened, but it's Lifetime, can you blame me for doubting it?
...she talks about having Timbaland and Missy Elliot produce her newest album, to which the head of the company replies “Who?”
Ok, so yeah, Timbaland didn't exactly get any mainstream hits producing prior to Aaliyah, so I'll let that slide. But Missy? HA! She just did production work on a song to some dumb soundtrack to some dumb movie called Dangerous Minds three years prior, like anybody will remember both the classic movie and the classic soundtrack with some single about Paradise Gangs or something.
And no, that song isn't what she worked on, but still, points for Lifetime to insult somebody BEFORE they died for a change!
She then says she heard their sound and loves it, and then goes to meet the two, played respectively by Izaak Smith and Chattrisse Dolabaille. And in case you're wondering, no they look NOTHING like Missy and Timbaland, no matter how half-blind or drunk you get. Hell, Dolabaille looks like those hip-hop girls Missy was going against when trying to encourage her fans to go for their dreams even if they don't look like a supermodel.
Again, points for insulting somebody BEFORE they died.
She puts out the album, does some spiel about not being over Kelly, then meets another rapper that I don't know. Not because they mumble his name only once or twice, not because it's also my fault for not listening to the guy's stuff, but because, like with everybody else, he looks nothing like the guy he's supposed to play.
Yeah, if you expected effort from this network, these are the same people that said “You know, that girl from those Disney movies looks like Elizabeth Taylor AND has a good accent.”
There's one scene where Aaliyah does sing a song she's known for... which is because it's the only song she's never written, the one she sung on the Anastasia soundtrack. Yeah, one of the few that's not brought up with her current library that's composed of songs like “Are you that somebody,” a song that still holds up because it's her style, where as this movie uses muzak most of the time due to rights issues.
In other words, the one song that she did they could do is because all she had a hand in it on was singing. Nice respect there.
Let's just wrap this up because there's really nothing else: Aliyah finds happiness with that one rapper I can't remember, is in line to star in a Matrix movie, and is leaving to shoot a music video on what would be her final trip. The movie ends with a text saying that her plane crashed during take off and that her music and legacy will endure.
Which is the only honest thing this movie has said and more than I can say for this pile.
The family didn't want this but they did it anyway, Wendy Williams said so, and I'm with the family on this. This isn't respectful to the artist or those around her, be it the lousy muzak, miscasting, saying she takes forever to get over somebody she shouldn't have been married to, or reducing two of her producers to one scene wonders just to focus mainly on said marriage.
And there's nothing here for the camp crowd ether. At least with Liz & Dick, the constant in-fighting between the two was real and had over the top acting in the movie, so there was some fun to be had and you had a sense that they were trying to tell a story only to completely fail. This doesn't have that distinction, it feels like a cash in on a legacy and with the disrespect to match. There's a reason it seems like the entire internet was united against this thing, and I don't blame everybody for hating it one bit.
And yes, I'm gonna review the Whitney Houston movie on the grounds that its Lifetime doing a Whitney Houston docudrama, do I need to elaborate beyond that?
FINAL VIRDICT: For no respect ether in the movie OR behind the scenes (Seriously, Wendy Williams response to the family not wanting this was 'We're doing it anyway'), hokey acting, miscasting, and just feeling like a horrible cash in on a legacy, this movie gets a SUPER ATOMIC B-MOVIE BOMB. Only positive thing about this whole thing is the movie united the internet against it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna prepare myself for the next Lifetime movie...
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
No... I can still feel... this might take a bit... oog...
Yo, DigiRanma here, watch this space
I'll be brief because this wasn't 100% planned, but due to all the drama going on with Channel Awesome, I couldn't in good conscious continue posting my blogs on that site, so I'm going to form my own blog. Yeah, this was an "On the moment" thing, so keep your eye on this blog, book mark it, whatever.
As for the stuff that's on CA's Blog page, it's going to be up for the time being until I can get some/all of the old reviews up here with the new ones. Old reviews will be marked with...uh... (Old Reviews), new ones...well, will just have the title of the movie with (Spoilers) in it. Same goes for top 5 lists and articles.
Am I still gonna do the "Look at him rip off better critics gag?" Yeah, because they go with both my character and there are some jokes that come from funnier people that do fit, like "Don't you know anything about science" when a teleportation mishap created a lazier in one of the things I reviewed.
So, yeah, still doing B-Movie Bomb, still doing some parodies, still doing some lists, but don't know when anything new will come up, might not be that frequent with re-posting old reviews (Real life gets in the way of fun, ya know), but for now, watch this site. We're in for a good time...or a hanging...ether way, we're gonna fun, am I right?