B-Movie Bomb's Flintstoned: The Flintstones No. 3 (Spoilers)

Before anybody that's a fan of this comic groans at my next review, it's not that I have something up my ass, or I'm uptight, or even a Herbert...

Boy, I gotta stop watching so much Trek...

...but it's just that, for me, they're writing the satire/jokes with no breaks. They go into that one extra step that takes the satire one degree too far to where the message is less presented and more hitting you over the head while yelling “GET IT!? GET IT!? GET IT!?”

And the praise for this thing isn't unwanted, there's a reason the Hanna Barbara Beyond version of The Flintstones has a following AND was considered one of the best comics of 2016, there's some very clever ideas in here. A future issue uses traditional marriage in place of gay marriage to address the topic, turning the controversy and issues on its head. The church's scheme, from the last issue, wasn't to make money but actually make people better than they currently were. There were even genuine touching and humane moments in the comic, such as Fred and Wilma getting tired of all the crap around them and laying out their feelings on the table.

But there's something that always screws it up. The comic's writer, Mark Russell, seems to ignore the part of the satire that shouts “Now wait a minute, stupid” before it goes too far. Having God being products labeled “Crap,” having a UFC match right after a war vet has a horrible 'Naim like flashback, and stuff that's coming up that'll have me tug my shirt and hoping to God I don't say the wrong joke/thing.

So, what does The Flintstones No. 3 decide to satire? Two things that go together like oil and chocolate: Spring Break and traumatized war vets!

You're not the only one who's brain just had to reboot at that.

Oh, and when you hear just how the Spring Break part gets the satire treatment, it's gonna hurt. Lots.

So, the comic opens with the middle school versions of Bam Bam and Pebbles on a field trip to the planetarium. Now, at first, they do great with the jokes with the Carl Sagon look-a-like, named Sargon...

Ha, ha.

...telling the kids that there's thousands of stars and that Earth revolving around the sun is ridiculous when it's clearly on the back of a turtle that revolves around the sun.

You know the drill kids, on the count of 3! 1, 2, 3!

“So, how do they screw this up?”

Sargon decides to show the kids a rocket launch via the Rube Goldberg/Loony Tunes method by dropping a dinosaur on a plank of wood, thus launching the rocket ship on said wood, with a monkey in it. The monkey is named Sgt. Grumbles and Sargon reassures an inquisitive Pebbles that “His spaceship knows which way to go,” as Grumbles asks the dinosaur to “Tell my wife I love her very much,” with said dino replying “She knows.”

Yeah...we have a whole reference to “Space Oddity...” and the monkey is named Sgt. Grumbles...but don't worry, the title of the STORY is Space Oddity. As if that excuses it...I mean...IT WAS RIGHT THERE!

The one time you were allowed to do the obvious joke and have it be funny...

Naturally, it goes wrong and the monkey dies, causing Pebbles to wonder if they just killed a monkey to impress some kids. This day and age, all somebody has to do is heat an iron ball and put it on top of something to be easily impressed.

Unrelated, note to self, update favorites.

But it turns out the rocket got high enough to get the attention...of little green men. That's right, this comic introduces us to the Hanna Barbara Beyond version of the Great Gazoo and his people! Yes, where as at least the cartoon version had Harvey Corrman to at least salvage something, this is a Hanna Barbara Beyond comic, the same line that at one point made Top Cat a Batman villain...

Granted, nothing has come out of it a year later, as of this writing.

...or decided the Jetson's robot maid, Rose, needed to have the curves of a sex bot and have the brain of George Jetson's mom. Trust me when I say you're gonna be wishing the aliens from Viva Rock Vegas were the threat in this one.

After reassuring all they're just here is to explore, Mr. Slate wastes no time and starts kissing up to the lead alien, causing the alien to freak out and, as soon as he's on board the ship, remark that they should just note Earth on the “Galactipedia” and bail. This leads to Fred and Barn having a conversation about it with their fellow war vets at the pool hall, causing them to share the POVs from “Don't trust them” to “Being paranoid.”

So, how do they screw that up?

Well, a convo about invading aliens is the perfect time to force a commentary on returning soldiers! Yes, right out of no where, the soldier buddy brings up that if this is indeed an invasion, people will take them seriously again and we get a whole flashback where they were briefly famous then wound up not able to find work or homes.

*CRACK*

OW! OW! WHIPLASH! OW!

Mistreatment of our vets is a serious topic and something that is sadly still done to this very day, but this was really forced. How did we go to talking about aliens and their intent to 'Society turned our backs on us?' They couldn't just left it on 'We can finally feel needed again' or 'If they invade, we'll remind them why they once loved us?' It's like I said earlier, they have the message and the joke, they just don't know where to pump the breaks.

But, kudos to the dark joke where the suicide hot line puts one of the vets on hold and he complains about the hold music.

So, with depressed vets trying to find their place in the world in mind, now's the perfect time for the second commentary...

It turns out a second UFO, complete with an alien version of that mud flap of a naked woman, lands full of college aliens looking for “Galactic Break” fun! This includes wrecking a family moment with the Flintstones as one of 'em barfs in Wilma's kitchen, several them being hauled off to jail, and disintegrating the cops.

...how's this different from Florida?

This causes Bam Bam and Pebbles to head to the planetarium, while Fred runs home as the town is getting slaughtered by the college aliens. Once there, he tells Wilma to go find the kids while he gets some back up...while the news argues between the college aliens killing everybody or actually helping the economy.

*CRACK*

OW! OW! OW!

We then jump to the war vets and learn that in this universe, “Yaba-Daba-Do” is what the traumatized vets were told to say to channel through it and say it as in they can “Yaba-Daba-Do-it...”

...yeah, chances are real life traumatized vets wouldn't like that their issues were reduced to a 60's cartoon phrase...

...as Fred runs in to gather everybody, complete with a note to the vet who was...and still is...on hold with the suicide hotline.

Meanwhile, Pebbles and Bam Bam hit the Planetarium and...have a direction about being bullied...

Oh, it's just a bunch of drunk frat E.T.s and sorority E.T.s wiping Bedrock off the map for a drunkin' good time, that's all.

...seriously, I think Bedrock just invented Florida.

...before realizing the best way to stop these intergalactic A-holes is to call their parents. It works, as they're sent home and they send back the shark jumper himself, the Great Gazoo! And in this continuity, his name means “Game Warden.”

And if you're waiting for Dangerous Game jokes...yeah, my luck is I saw The Pest instead, and...

...yeah...not gonna do it...

So, the issue then ends with the mayor calling for the town to honor a true hero...

The monkey.

...who deserves all the reconition that he'll get via a statue...

It's the monkey.

...causing everybody to think it was the soldier that was dusted, the one that was used to say our vets are being mistreated by being put on hold for so long after calling a suicide hotline...

I know the joke, it's the monkey.

...only for it to be revealed to be, shock of all shocks, the monkey that started all of this. Why? Because the comic doesn't think jokes need breaks.

Here's the thing, I love satire. If done right, not only can it be funny, but it can deliver a powerful message, be it something major like politics or your own personal issues like getting tired of a movie genre. If done wrong, not only can the humor be lost, but so can the message as it's focus is to just whale you over the head while shouting “GET IT!?” over and over again.

And issue 3 of The Flintstones shows this problem off.

For every joke that actually works, like the turtle carrying Earth is what revolves around the sun or the on hold vet asking if the suicide hot line has good hold music, there's jokes that ether fall flat on it's face like using the song “Space Oddity” but the monkey is NOT Maj. Tom, commentary that's hammered in such as the digression of the vet telling Fred (And thus the audience) of how they were heroes one minute and treated like bums the next, or something that takes the satire into “GET IT!?” territory like the monkey statue at the end.

There are smart comedy moments and smart commentary moments, but when a joke comes to die, it FUCKING dies, and when the comedy and commentary collide, the part that should tell the writer “Stop, your satire's message went through” doesn't kick in and it goes that one degree too far to be funny OR subtle. Still, if you like this comic and this issue, there's some interesting takes on classic stuff from the show, such as Gazoo meaning/being a “Game Warden” or Mr. Slate trying too hard to be friendly to the aliens in the first place, making him more of a sleazeball than the cartoon.

But you just have to remember, unlike Maj. Tom's spaceship, when it comes to this satire, it has no idea where to go.

And folks, the next issue is the most famous/infamous in not only the entire comic, but the whole Hanna-Barbara Beyond line and it's a prime example of twisting a controversy on its ear for a satire...and beating you over the head with it regardless who's side you're on...mixed with ANOTHER issue that's a touchy subject.

Hint for the first one: Adam and *BLANK*

Hint for the second: A certain Taylor Swift interrupting rapper talked about it...causing everybody to point out he's ether on something or insane.

...ain't my job/hobby grand?

FINAL VERDICT: For satire that goes into “GET IT!?” territory, for jokes that show up here only to die, but bonus points for some jokes and satire that actually work, this comic gets a MST3K B-MOVIE BOMB! You might have some fun with it, just not what the writer intended. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready to review issue 4 of this thing, bomb shelters don't dig themselves.