So, if the perspective goes from "If hippies ruled the world" to "Oh God, the hippies rule the world" and back, it's not me, it's a story by a 28 year old directed by a middle age "Damn kids" man. Enjoy.
When crafting a story, you don't have
to be the gender, age, or creed of the characters you're writing, you
just have to write them as human. Not every body who writes a gay
man is gay, not everybody who writes a white woman is a white woman,
etc. That said, when you do write characters outside of who you are,
especially on political and civil topics, keep in mind you are
writing from a certain point of view for obvious reasons, namely
you're not who you're writing.
But filming? Filming is the story from
the POV of the director, meaning while you wrote one thing the
director sees another or has another opinion about it. Myra
Breckenridge went from being a
satire on the state of Hollywood by Gore Vidal...to a satire on the
state of Hollywood with rape being the centerpiece about how then
modern manly men can't hold up a candle to the classics and all
future rugged men are gonna be nothing but boys with the focus being
on the act and not so much the message.
Yeah, is it any
reason Vidal wrote a sequel book that took everything off the rails
and was a non stop F-U to Hollywood?
That said, there are times where when
you do want to do that you might wanna take a breath and think if
that really is a good idea or just wait a bit to make sure nothing
influences that thinking...like say a 44 year old making a movie
about the hippie movement of the 60's and putting it to film just
after the 60's ended ala Roger Corman and his last effort for
American International, Gas-s-s...Or It Became Necessary To
Destroy The World In Order To Save It.
I'd throw in the Mixed Up Zombies bit like when I did with my
Civil War: Warzones review, but the title twisted most tongues
already.
At first glance, Gas-s-s... does have a few things going for
it, namely it's writer (George Armitage) was 28 around the time of
the movie's release, so he was in someway part of the culture,
directly or he can relate I have no clue...on the other hand Corman
was 44 around that time and a b-movie director that didn't meet a
pair of boobs he didn't say “No” to filming and had his own POV
on the youth movement of the 60's. How do I know this? While I have
no problems believing a member of said movement wrote stuff that was
a middle finger to those running the country, said movie has a plot
where a tribe of football players go around and rape women to the
cheers of the local cheerleaders and that's supposed to serve as the
answer to the army.
All because society crashed and the youth ruled the land. Yeah, I
saw The Tribe when one of the Encore Networks actually tried
back in the day, what's it say a kids show can do this same plot
better with an even LESS budget?
The end result of the age gap is you have a writer who in the youth
movement filmed by a director that thinks leaving the kids
unsupervised will cause mass chaos. Not even kidding, Corman started
becoming disillusioned with the youth movement shortly before
filming. Any sane director would go to the studio or even the writer
and go “Look, this isn't my opinion anymore, I'll help you find
somebody that can do the movie justice,” but sane and Corman go
together like honesty and a congressman.
So after an animated opening that explains the world gets screwed
over thanks to the Government opening a chemical plant and mistaking
a bottle of stuff that can kill people over 25 as champagne to crack
open with...
Because you open buildings like ships, I guess.
We jump to a montage of a city on the go...then a hippie running
around campus with a crossbow...right, a howler monkey did the
editing, expect things to go nuts...
The hippie, later named Coel (Robert Corff) is running from the cops
with his crossbow and decides to hide in a church, dressed as a
priest and speaking with a horrible Irish brogue. Naturally, on the
grounds that both the 28 year old writer and the 44 year old director
agree that cops are stupid, the cop buys it to the point where he
tries to see if he can get into confession...even though the brogue
drops every now and then. Coel goes into the confession booth where
he meets Cilla (Elaine Giftos) who worked with and under...
Remember, it's Corman.
...the guy who made the gas from the animated intro...which gets
interupted when the cop says he has to confess that he's sin via
beating people. This leads to the hippie telling the cop that his
penace is to go to a Black Panther rally in Alabama and teach them
bike riding. Dark, yet karmaticly funny. After a bit seeing people
around them dying (After a bit where an HMO says a woman with no
insurance has no hope, but the Medicaid one can be saved), we then
jump to Cilla and Coel at a drive in, deciding the best thing they
can do is toss random words out to mean sex as they get it on.
Oh, heaven help them if they skip the four play, I hear
supercalafragilisticexpaladosious can knock you off your feet!
Fast forward to all the adults being dead and the two trying to get
out of Dallas when they're captured by the goon squad of some sinny
nobody that cashed in on the Apocalypse...that sounds like he was
ADRed/dubbed by a 32 year old German...K. Turns out they need to see
this guy to get the papers to leave Dallas...and they apparently do
as the next scene has them leaving. Huh...given this is Roger
Corman, I would've thought there'd be something at least tasteless
doing this...oh well, let's jump to the next scene via jump cut and
the sound of bullets to...the Texas School Book Depository and
somebody pulling away...
Right...somebody wrote the script, but Corman's got the camera...
So then we see our...people we have met...driving down a high way
full of wrecked and abandoned cars...and driving...and driving...and
driving...to a library where they take books that nobody would read
at the time...don't ask me who, I'm too young for the reference...and
then proceed to screw...meaning throwing out MORE random words to
substitute for sex as they have sex...which doesn't matter because
they both shout out “Orgasim” in the end.
I'm guessing if this is the part Corman had a hand in creating, his
mind was on “Gotta get out of AIP, no effort needed.”
This leads to...more freakin' driving... until they see a sign that
says there's an Oracle...that's 851 miles...
Ok, pardon me from stealing from a Rifftrax Live show, but if I see a
sign that says “Valley Lodge,” I'm leaving.
They get captured by a gang lead by a cowboy named Billy The Kid
(George Armitage...yes, the guy who wrote this) who takes peoples
cars and sells what he takes because he's a used car salesman. Get
it? 'Cause they're all thieves, ha, ha. This causes them to run
into the city on foot, play with some kids, and go into a record
store commandeered by a couple, Marissa (Cindy Williams...you read
that right) and Carlos (Ben Vereen...you read that right, too).
She's in it for the music...he wants to shoot them on sight after
Coel remarks the property value was going down.
Remember, Corman.
They also run into Hooper (Bud Cort) and Coralee (Talia Shire).
After meeting them, Marissa goes on how the 60's where the music
scene and...wait...this was filmed in 1969, released in
1970...just...just how much time passed between the opening and now?
It couldn't be that long, they still look 25...and events still look
too recent...WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?
So they make a deal: The new guys help get the car back, our...people
we have met...will give them a ride to a place in New Mexico they
hear everybody's going to. This leads to a shoot out
where...everybody shouts the name of famous Hollywood cowboy
actors...and the names actually kill some of the people...
I...I don't know...
...and Coel kill Billy via calling out John Wayne. After they
celebrate, they hear a motorcycle ridden by...Edgar Allan Poe (Bruce
Karcher) and Lenore (Can't find who played her, sorry). And yes,
this is supposed to be the same Edgar Allan Poe you're thinking of,
because not only is he with Lenore, but there's a stuffed Raven on
the bike.
And no, we get NO explanation as to how this is possible other than
Roger Corman has a message via Poe, namely the hippies better watch
it, or they'll get as corrupt as the adults that killed the world the
last go around. I KNEW Zoobalee Zoo was up to no good!
Look, it was ether this I make the joke about the beer company
Shirley worked at.
They get their car back, which means...yep, more frickin' driving.
I've seen Shippuden filter that wasn't this long. All this
leads to...a concert at a drive in. I'd skip this on the grounds it
feels like a concert movie invaded this thing, until the singer says
he's the new God and if not, may the real one speak up.
And He does... in a Jewish voice (Can't find who, sorry) saying
somebody left their parking lights on. No...really...
This leads to Coel to hook up with a random girl and...they keep
shouting “Arrowfeather” to each other...still trying to find what
sex means I guess...while lazier Floyd and acid trips play on their
body. After hooking back up with Cilla, who says the new word for
sex he found can't be shared with them due to it being personal...
I guess one night stands are more important.
...we do a MERCIFULLY quick driving scene and jump to...oh God...
If you ever said “Hey, this is a hippie movie, where's the
'Military is bad, m'kay” moments?” Well, here we go...in the
form of an invading High School/college varsity football team and
marching band, where they invade a town for the purposes of rape,
pillage, and destruction. And we're treated to a whole bit where the
gang are forced to help the team train, including building house
frames for them to knock down, teaching them how to hussle while
stealing TVs, and the race to...rape...one of the women...
Roger Corman...Roger *BLEEP*ing Corman...
Oh, they don't do it...thank freakin' God...but it's enough.
And our...people we have met... feel the same way as they try to make
a break for it. They jack a dune buggy and managed to out run the
jocks, but before your brain can scream “NO MORE DRIVING,” they
thankfully shorten the trip to an abandon construction site
where...oh no...
And this is where the whole POV of the director thing comes in.
Turns out Marisa is ready to pop...and she looks and acts like she'd
couldn't give two shits about it...so they lay her down while the
guys go find a doctor (Alan Braustein)...who's the same age as them
and is only a doctor to give stuff that wouldn't be 100% legal for
docs to give for another two or three decades. Yeah...you can
probably guess what's about to slam into the script's wall here.
They take the doctor to her and the doctor...freaks out and panics
because, surprise, he's mainly a doctor so the kids can get their
buzz and real responsibility freaks him the Hell out.
While all that goes on, Cilla gets kidnapped and taken to a different
construction site where her kidnappers argue over who's gonna rape
her...until she says she should have her choice of who's gonna go
first and picks one of 'em. There's only so many times I can say
*BLEEP*ing Corman. Turns it doesn't happen because...she talks until
they get so bored, they decide not to do it.
Ha... ha... ha...ha-ha-ha?
Going back to the previous paragraph for a bit, ignore the whole
spiel about the doc---NAME ME ONE FLOWER POWER LOVE CHILD THAT WANTED
TO KILL A BABY WHEN IT WAS TOO LATE TO HAVE AN ABORTION!
Sure, some of them were probably stupid/naive enough to believe it's
no big deal, they can go right through it, but that's more the mind
set of youth than the movement. Top it all of, she looks 6 to 9
months pregnant. A BIT LATE FOR AN ABORTION! And this is the
problem of having somebody who's disconnected/disillusioned with the
hippie movement directing a satire of the hippie movement, namely
we're seeing this from the POV of somebody who's idea over filming of
said movement is “Damn irresponsible kids, get off my lawn.”
I don't know what the original script had, nor I think will anybody
other than the writers on the ground that this whole thing was
re-written on the fly multiple times while filming...and by God does
that show...with Corman putting his disconnected hands in it like he
does with most of his projects. What could've been a dark satire of
what happens when the era of peace, love, and rock & roll inherit
the Earth in one of the most turbulent decades it had turns into a
middle aged man shouting at the top of his lungs that these kids are
freakin' screw ups and are this close to making it worse as it goes
on.
Bet you said to yourself you got as sick of those driving montages
like I was, right? Good! Because we now have a WALKING montage,
complete with the gang playing in a scrapyard full of World War II
bombers. Gotta make this movie length somehow, huh Corman? They
come across a Texas Ranger who dresses them down...until they point
out they're in New Mexico, causing him to realize that's why he's not
effective and high tails it back to Texas.
This is why you never take directions from Ryoga Hibiki, people.
This convinces our...people we have met...to dress more mainstream
and conformist so they don't scare people away. Why? Because we
need our set up for GOLF to be a symbolism for war! Yeah, couldn't
get enough of that through the football players and their actions?
Well, how about, as Mark Twain once called it, a “Good walk
spoiled” taken over by a biker gang...that talks like they're the
clean cut rich guys that usually run places like that when they're
introduced...
*THUD* OW! OW! UNSUBTLE THUD HURT ME! OW!
This leads to a bit where the gang is forced by the biker's leader
(Lou Procopio) to do various odd jobs around the club as Carlos meets
Ginny (Jackie Farley) and they both decide to bolt along with the
others, save for Melisa who decides to stay because she found a
juxbox and thus it means it's the best place for her and the
ba...by...wait...she's still pregnant? But...earlier she was about
to pop...that whole thing with the doctor...wait, that wasn't an
abortion, that was her actually telling her body/baby “I'm good,
wait several more weeks/months?” That's...that's... that's not...
I need a minute...
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
*HEADDESK*
Ok, I'm nack to bormal.
…
*HEADDESK*
Back to normal.
They leave, complete with the truck from the book depository from
WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY back in act one with them for some reason, only
for the truck to disappear when they get into one of the back 9 thus
calling for the bikers to launch golf balls at them as if they were
bombs complete with sound effects. If this wasn't enough to drive
home...again... “War is bad, m'kay,” the bit with a bikers turns
into this really obnoxious reenactment of Patton being kicked out of
the Korean War, only with the war terms replaced with golf ones.
I'm a freakin' pacifist and even I'm going “ENOUGH ALREADY!”
Thankfully, I don't have to shout that for the walking as we see,
after the...people we have met... see a sign that says they're closer
to the Oracle, the gang stumbles on to a property full of Army
surplus supplies AND Coralee wants to get it on with Hooper! Things
are looking u---BWA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Remember, Roger Corman!
Sure enough, turns out she ate enough food to literally explode.
This is not a metaphor, I don't mean the belt on her pants, I mean
she actually went boom from eating too much, right down to the sound
effects. I just stopped asking questions at this point, I'm already
six pages in to this thing. Hooper says he wants to be alone and
wonders off to points unknown as the rest of the...people we have
met...
Yeah, have they done anything for me to call them anything outside of
the Red Dwarf reference?
...take some farm equipment and continue the journey with the truck
from earlier back and following. I'd comment on that, but this leads
to the return of Edgar Allen Poe and Lenore, observing the gang and
remarking that they're close to making the world as messed up as it
was before, but she thinks they have a better chance of fixing it.
This causes Poe to remark Usher was warned about his path and that
even creators can lose patients, leading to God replying “Don't I
know it.”
In other words, Corman going “Damn hippies.”
After calling an operator for a joke about wondering where the phone
operator was when people were still around...
Ha...hahaha...ha...hahaha?
...the...people we have met... run into a tribe of Native Americans
who use the state the new world to take America back and give back
the stereotype stuff based on them we put out over the years,
including blankets made in Japan. Get it? Get it, huh!? Get it!?
GET IT!? GEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTT
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT!?
The truck vanishes before that, btw. Yeah, I don't know ether.
The gang then find the spot they were supposed to...only for it to be
a rock saying “There is no answer, but keep going.” Or to put in
my generation's terms, the princess is in another castle. They
eventually find a commune...along with the truck popping in then
popping out again...and meet it's leader who looks like if Woody
Allen were part of the Woodstock generation right down to the nervous
ticks. The gang decides it perfect and start their new lives.
And what kind of lives can our...people we have met...have? Well,
Coel becomes an elementary teacher and his first topic is
hallucinogens, namely how a pill caused people to see movies in their
mind thus turning studios into drug pushers...even though it was
funnier when one of the students said it was the other way
around...anyway, we also see Cilla having such protein deficiency,
she remembers running through the meat fields, and Carlos and Ginny
become a family.
Well, too much good things, time for the other shoe to drop! And boy
howdy does it as the football team finds the commune, this leads to
the commune deciding if they wanna arm themselves...or be better
fascists than the football team by talking to them. ...wait, what?
Whatever, if that's the most confusing thing about this, I'll take
it. The team meets with the commune and reveal that Hoop
is...a...member...wait...WHAT!? But...but...but...butbutbut...
GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
ERROR! ERROR! REBOOT! REBOOT!
Let's just finish this up as quick as I can, there's only six
mercifully short minutes left.
They try to deal with the football team, seeing as they want fruits
and veggies: They hunt and raise cattle, the commune will give them
what they want. Well, the leader says they've come too far, they
give them a deadline of 20 minutes to surrender or put up a fight.
Coel comes up with an idea and that's...put a kid in a ref's uniform
and the rest of the commune in Red Cross helmets. And...it works.
Turns out the team has standards and refuse to fire on or hurt
anybody that's under the Red Cross.
If that wasn't enough, a wind intervenes as it blows Hooper's hat
towards somebody he kept an eye on through the time there and decides
he no longer needs the football team after all. Coel says this is a
sign, and the team leader remarks he's still gonna fight, causing God
to strike the peace sign between the commune with lightning, asking
“How's that for a sign!?”
...very confusing on the grounds it was lightning hitting the peace
symbol...
Well, this was enough to cause the band who was trying to escape via
tunnel from the first encounter with the team to pop up with
EVERYBODY our...people we have met...encountered over
time...including some that were bad gu---whatever, let's just wrap
this up.
Everybody parties, we finally get an answer to that damn truck as
inside is...Abe Lincoln, Ghandi, JFK, Castro, and Martin Luther King
Jr...all driven by...Alfred E. Newman...
*THUD* OW! OW! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
And it all ends with Lenore asking if the kids will make the world as
it once was, with the raven saying “Nevermore.” And no, this
wasn't Corman's idea for an ending, in fact this edit is why he left
AIP in the first place. Editing as a whole went NUTS on this thing
under studio orders, including removing the original ending that had
300 people looking to the sky as God had a final message. What was
it? We don't know, AIP dropped that ending in favor of a mega happy
ending because they, according to Corman, didn't like God's final
message.
Probably “Oy vey” if He saw the same stuff I did.
This was a satire of the youth taking over America written by a then
28 year old from the POV of a then 44 year old man who was losing all
faith in the hippie movement said youth was in. Uneven? Oh yeah.
For every moment that comes off as said youth's response to violence,
there's moments where the director is shouting “Damn hippies, get
off my lawn.” Stuff like a character stuck in the 60's or even the
alternative words to screw, that sounds like a response from somebody
in the flower power era; a football team making rape a sporting event
in the middle of an anti-war alagory, that sounds like a paranoid
middle age man, the whole picture is like this.
And before you say “Oh, how much control can a director have over
the writer on this thing,” two things: This is Roger Corman and
this was constantly re-written on the fly with him having his hand in
it as shooting was going on.
Corman has a LOT of creative control on his movies, that's how he's
always rolled and was able to make his movies with the budget he had.
Top it all of, not only was Gas-s-s a thought he himself had,
but the script was constantly re-written on the fly as the movie went
on shooting, so you have a mix of somebody who is 3 years older (At
the time) than our leads writing a satire on the hippie movement with
a 44 year old director (At the time) getting further and further away
from agreeing with the generation responsible for the Summer Of Love.
Never a good combination.
Uneven writing, uneven editing, characters that aren't exactly
compelling leads, confusing jokes, stuff that is never explained (Bad
editing or not)...this movie maybe called Gas-s-s, but it's
anything but.
FINAL VERDICT: For uneven writing, uneven filming, horrible editing
(Most of which was the studio), characters that aren't exactly
compelling, unsubtle satire and/or messages, and not really aging
well, this movie gets a MEGA ATOMIC DESTRUCTION B-MOVIE BOMB. Tune
in, turn on, brain fried. Now if you'll excuse me, I heard the voice
of God...and I left the lights on again.
